GULLS FIGHT BACK

Gulls, who live up to forty-years, have learned to see the two-legged creatures as a source of food, sometimes going as far as snatching snacks from their hands, and lately eating-out has become a no-no in some places because of their dive-bombing missions. They have hospitalized elderly creatures after knocking them to the ground, and their razor-like bills have caused facial injuries.

Gull behaviourism has started to display a growing, cocky sense of domination. They have become less frightened of creatures, and now the gulls have intensified their poo-bombings on their cars, washing lines, and heads.

While most bird species are in decline, urban gull numbers have grown due to the creatures’ apathetic attitude towards litter with overstuffed wheelie-bins and take-away scraps left lying in the streets. The urban gull population is surging; most of them die from old age.

Fish populations are a fraction of what they used to be because of bottom trawling, where weighty bars fixed to nets are dragged over the seabed. This has caused dramatic falls in fish numbers, so seagulls are moving inland for easier pickings from creatures, who, having damaged the birds’ maritime food source, discard so much that is edible that gulls feed well on the waste dumped in landfills by the ‘throw-away’ creature-society.

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